i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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