If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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