is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my shit smells like andre
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
