Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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