It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
