this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
