Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
