I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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