Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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