is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
