i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She even gives head with a lisp.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
