come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
