he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This baby is an asshole
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
