At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What a dumb baby whore.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
