wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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