Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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