I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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