You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
