Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
