Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
