i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
