Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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