i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
