dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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