Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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