Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have tasted many bathrooms
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