just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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