I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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