why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
