it's not cheating when I paid for it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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