Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
