Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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