Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
