And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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