it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A bitchslap is in order.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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