clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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