thus making me awesome and them whores
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
