I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
