I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
