i permit you to call me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize