That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
