i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
