That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
