I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
