i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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