Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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