your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
