I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
