she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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