You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
