Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
