so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
