Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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