SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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