did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
