all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize