I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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