good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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