Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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