we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
