i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
