The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
