nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
