I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
