well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
