im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
