At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize