i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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