I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
